You're a mean one, Mister Grinch
by bootyandsmoothie
Summary: Byakuya Togami hates Christmas, and is now participating in a popularity contest whose winner will be outcasted by... Mister Grinch.


It was that time of the year when everyone sings and acts like a complete fool. Eggnog, mistletoe, gifts. Well, for Togami it wasn't something cheerful but a great opportunity to raise his sells four times- however, the fuss his class was making ever since the first of December was anything but inconspicuous.

Leon and Hifumi's remarks were salacious. Of course, witnessing a cooking class from afar must be something plebeians enjoyed. Hmpf. He'll never understand the hype about celebrations and rituals like Christmas or Valentine's Day. Byakuya barely celebrated his birthday because… Hell, wasn't it obvious? Such a privilege for the world: his magnificence. Glaring at them from the corner of his eyes, the heir pressed his lips with disapproval but kept his mouth shut. On his left Mondo and Ishimaru were fighting over Chihiro.

It was known those three had a weird relationship… but he wasn't particularly interested about the details. Sexuality wasn't something of his concern. Though he tried his best to ignore them, the loud duet kept fighting over who would get more treats.

What a stupid activity. This was some sort of contest where the girls of their class would cook to their hearts content and give something to the boy they liked. Friendship was allowed too, but the constant competition of popularity was always pointed in one direction: Naegi.

He always won. No matter how hard Leon tried to become the next idol- all thanks to Maizono, his charisma was anything but appropriate. People like Hagakure liked to predict the winner, but his charlatanism methods were ludicrous. Byakuya sighed and crossed his legs, arms folded against his chest. He looked at the ceiling and found the view comforting: a clean, white space. No decorations, no stupid lights. At least he found some peace in the meantime.

But before the girls were done, all the boys- including Naegi, forcefully entered the library to kidnap him. That morning nor Touko or Syo were around to pester him, and the first pages of the new chapter he was reading were delightfully calm before the intrusion. Alas, he possessed no strength in comparison to people like Mondo, who carried him on his shoulder as if he was made out of paper.

About an hour had passed since he was assigned a stupid basket. All he could see was a bunch of clowns claiming for attention. A few jokes later he relaxed a bit. Hagakure had some comedy in his veins, which was undeniable. The smell of the treats in the oven was something nostalgic for him. It reminded him of the times he spent with his mother before being selected as the heir of the Togami's estate and fortune.

He closed his eyes trying to picture those days in his head, but was interrupted by the excitement noises from his comrades. Apparently the wait was over, and once Byakuya narrowed his eyes he could identify a few familiar pastries… and thus, the preposterous competition started.

The girls knew nothing about it, it was a rule between males to keep some of their dignity- if they had any left. Surprisingly, Celestia had more treats than the other girls and put a friendship cookie in everyone's basket. You could tell it wasn't a romantic treat because it wasn't overly decorated, and from the gothic Lolita gambler represented nothing but a sign of courtesy. However, the succulent éclairs and choux went directly to Hifumi's basket. The boy rejoiced and caressed his belly. Almost kneeling in front of his devotion dressed in lace with promises of eternal loyalty, he cried of joy. Ludenberg didn't blush, just curling his hair between her fingers.

**"I know you will be my servant… I had to bake more than usual because your appetite isn't such of a normal individual. I expect you to delight yourself with these… Or I'll show you hell."**

The rest of the baskets were almost full, unlike Togami's. He received a cookie from Chihiro, the always gentle with everyone, who baked two small cakes for Ishimaru and Mondo with huge letters saying 'best friends forever'. Another one was from Celestia of course, and that was it. For everyone's astonishment, Sakura Oogami gave Ishimaru a huge fruit cake with lots of gingerbread cookies around. It was beautifully wrapped with a red bow. The hall monitor was about to faint, he once mentioned his favorite part of Christmas was fruit cake, because of its perfect shape and simple ingredients. Hagakure on the other hand received a donut from Asahina. If only it wasn't half eaten by the swimmer it could have been a huge donut with pecan and caramel almost the size of his head.

Almost every person left something special in Naegi's basket, whose affection was focused in Kyouko and her roll cake. The twins gave each other a bunch of cookies, but Junko's were salty and Mukuro's were full of chocolate and strawberries. The younger placed a small box of chocolates in Naegi's basket when the blonde wasn't watching her, giving the cold stare at Kyouko. The tension was reciprocated.

Having enough of the great amount of stupid, Togami rolled his eyes. Later on he looked around and found suspicious Touko was nowhere to be found, but didn't utter a word. He already had a bunch of unread love letters in his drawer who earned him a year full of tasteless jokes from his classmates to keep feeding the trolls. He brushed a hand through his hair and smiled quite bitterly, closing his eyes. It would be a Christmas miracle if he found out the brunette could cook without setting fire to the building.

**"…U-Uhm." **

He felt the basket in his lap become heavier. A lot heavier. And that voice… He opened his eyes and saw a lemon pie, beautifully decorated with the fruit's slices and white topping, smelling like heaven. The heir blinked, too startled to make a bitter remark… if there was any to be done. It looked perfect. But why?

The silence in the room wasn't helping, but Mondo's whistle was even worse. "Oi, that's a cute pie! I bet'cha can tell why she chose lemon as the main ingredient."

His words came back like magic. **"A scum like you wouldn't difference between an Eureka and a Femminello St. Teresa lemon if you had them in front of that thing you call a nose."**

**"Huh? Say that again, you bastard. Imma leave your nose like Rudolph's with a single hit!"**

**"I had no idea he was really into lemons."** Asahina whispered with tears in her eyes, laughing like a maniac after a few seconds.

Togami grimaced and stood up with the basket in his hands, firmly held. **"Fukawa… Once again your presence… and this horrid thing stinks the place. But worry not; I'll be the one leaving this cage au folles."** And with that, he stormed outside the room without turning back.

Everyone gathered around the writer, who was holding her tears quite sad at his reaction. Someone poked her ribs, another hand her back and soon she giggled.** "W-What… Why are you d-doing this? Leave me alone!"**

Junko raised an eyebrow and smirked. **"Oh, but can't you tell? He wasn't expecting something that fancy from his beloved romance writer!"** she said with a playful hand in her chin and a wink. Her comment was accompanied by a couple of hums that made her blush. Even Asahina pushed her whilst Celestia laughed.

Meanwhile between the high shelves of the library in his usual spot, Byakuya Togami was absorbed in his reading. The basket was in the trash bin, and the cookies he received that evening were lying over a napkin. A pile of books around the table left almost no space for his cup of coffee, but the humiliation was still burning in his ears.

He flinched once he heard the door closing itself, and closed his book attempting to make the cookies disappear from the public eye. Alas, the writer was already staring at him behind one of the pillars. Byakuya sighed and went back to normal, keeping the cookies in place and going back to his seat.

**"Go away. I'm busy."**

But the girl didn't move. She was stubborn… and irritating. **"B-Byakuya sama… I w-wonder if you liked the pie or do I have to b-burn my unskilled hands in the kitchen…"**

**"I forbid you to talk when I'm reading, but I see you won't go until I answer your stupid questions. As you can see, I threw that second hand basket in the trash- where it belongs."** He was watching her, discreetly of course. She was pulling her braids again, but big tears were scrolling down her pink cheeks. He clucked and stood up, walking towards her and cornering the brunette against one of the book shelves.** "Listen… I don't know how, but I don't recall telling anyone, not even the principal… about my tastes in desserts. I hate sweets. But this… is something I haven't tasted since I was six. That's why I will not share it with the hunger peasants. I will eat all of it when I feel like, and I can tell you beforehand… it smells good. So do you, for once."**

He couldn't tell if his words were being listened, although Touko was looking at him her tears didn't stop. Byakuya stepped back and let out a sigh, taking off the glasses and turning around to go back to his seat, not being able to tell when a pair of arms hugged his waist from behind. He felt chills running through his body and heat in his cheeks.

**"…Byakuya sama. I'm so happy. I will bake hundreds of lemon pies if that makes you happy too."**

She wasn't stuttering. How weird. He placed his hands above the female's and stood like that for a while. After a couple of minutes he gently pulled off and continued his way to the chair without looking back. **"Go away now. People will think I've done something awful if you don't stop crying."**

It wasn't until she left when he peeked behind the tower of books and went back to his lemon pie, already half eaten. At this rate he would gain a few pounds before Christma's eve. Worthy pounds of lemon pie.

* * *

**AUTHOR NOTES:**

Hello there! Booty here. I was inspired by fanart, please check my tumblr for references under the "fanfiction" tag. Also, I'd really appreciate if you could drop a comment if you enjoyed this story Thanks for reading and Merry Christmas!


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